Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Randomize
