Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
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No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
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Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
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