There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
