So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
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