I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Randomize
