Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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