getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize
