I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
jump out the window naked night went bad
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