we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
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You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
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Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
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