IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
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