I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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