I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Randomize
