So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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