I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Randomize
