Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
