guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
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