why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
