Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Randomize
