wakey wakey hands off snakey
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
