you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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