White coat. Heels.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
