shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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