This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Randomize
