I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
so much tequila, so little girl.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
