Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
