Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
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