I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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