Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
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