1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
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