Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize