You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize