i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Randomize
