tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
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