He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
Randomize
