i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
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He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
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But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
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