I think i peed on brittanys purse
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
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