my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
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