Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Randomize
