i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
