if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Randomize
