Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
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