I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Randomize
