we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
