so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize