Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
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