A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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