I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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