you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
Randomize
