I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Randomize
