my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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