I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
