So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
