I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize
