Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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