addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
