Three words: puerto rican gang bang
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
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