Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
it's not cheating when I paid for it
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
