There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
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