My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
so much tequila, so little girl.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Randomize
