i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Randomize
