It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
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