i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize