It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
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