i'm signing you up for texting rehab
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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