we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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