I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Randomize
