She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize